Long live Bachelors - A compilation

Long live Bachelors


Don't marry for money;

you can borrow it cheaper.

--Scottish Proverb




I don't worry about terrorism.

I am married for two years.

--Sam Kinison


Men have a better time than women;

for one thing, they marry later;

for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken




When a newly married couple smiles,

everyone knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles,

everyone wonders why.


Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.


When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

you can be sure of one thing:

either the car is new or the wife.


I take my wife everywhere,

but she keeps finding her way back to home always.

--Anonymous


I asked my wife,

"Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "

She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"

I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

--Anonymous



We always hold hands.

If I let go, she shops.

...cool one...


My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.

That was only for the estimate.

--Anonymous


She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

--Anonymous



She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,

"Am I too late for the garbage?"

Following her down the street I yelled,

"No, jump in."

--Anonymous




If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course...

at least he'll shut up after u let him in!

--Anonymous




A man placed some flowers on the grave of his

dearly parted mother and started back toward

his car when his attention was diverted to another

man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said,

"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."




A couple came upon a wishing well.

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin.
The wife decided to make a wish, too.

But she leaned over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then
smiled "It really works ! "